Saturday, December 31, 2011

An Irritable Old Man Gets A Christmas Card

The irritable old man is an alter ego who takes the helm once in awhile after I have had a few too many glasses of wine the night before or attended a funeral. His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of my, er, regular ego.

Who are these people, anyway?

The Christmas card from the Rourkes is addressed to us and appeared in our mailbox last week. The photo shows four human males and one female all smiling. At the center of the composition is a table bearing two dogs. Since their genitals are prominently displayed, it is apparent they are both males.

One dog ding-dong on a Christmas card is probably okay, but two is over doing it.

With the exception of the dogs, they are all wearing black polo shirts and tan trousers. They look more like the police academy graduating class than a festive family.

Unknown guy senior looks like he could be a cop. Maybe he is the Gestapo bastard who ticketed in me in High Bridge rubbing it in. Or maybe it is his idea of “community policing” to send a Christmas card to some poor slob he just nailed.

Surely they are Republicans and mistake us for their cronies because they wished us “prosperity” in the coming year clearly a reference to their plan to plunder our Social Security and Medicare.

Despite their smiles, the three teenage males look like bullies. I’ll bet they put their black shirts on and go to New York to hobnail stomp some poor Occupy Wall Street dude.

The one dog definitely is part pit bull and probably bitch humps on the other one who is one of those repulsive Pug things.

Almost invisible in the left hand corner sits a mousey female with a cheesy grin. Although judging from her demeanor she might be an abused servant, she is probably the mother of the thugs and wife of the sadistic policeman.

Kathie does not recognize these people and no one we know knows who they are.

“I wonder where they think they know us from?, Kathie asks.

“Either gun club or prayer group, I would guess,” I respond.

I have to admit, I am somewhat put off by the fact that this card came in well after Christmas.

“Should we send them a New Year’s card?,” she asks. This is her fix for dealing with people we have dropped from our Christmas card list because we didn’t get one from them last year only to receive one from them this year. Of course, they will drop us next year while we will re-instate them….and so it goes.

“Although they think they know us,” I reply, “They don’t think enough of us to get our card to us in a timely manner, so the hell with them.”

Who do these people think they are anyway?


Cheryl A. said...

I wonder if they read your blog. lololol

Steve said...

Come on, can't you post an image of this card?