Something About Nothing

Not much is going on in my life so I don’t have anything to write about.

So I decided to write about having nothing to write about.

But writing about having nothing to write is writing about something, so it’s sort of a paradox. Like those future movies where you kill off your grandparents. If you did you wouldn’t be there to kill off your grandparents. If I had nothing to write about I wouldn’t be writing. Those kinds of movies always give me a headache.

Not having anything to write about gives me a headache as well. But since I am writing about something,i.e. having nothing to write about, you will be happy to know that my head is doing fine so far. The nice part about writing about nothing is that you don't have to know anything which plays to my strong suit.

I don’t think it is what they call a writer's block. A writer’s block is when you can’t write….because you are blocked. Fascinating things can be happening to you, but you can’t write them. In my case, if I had something to write about, I would be able to write about it…..I think.

I usually like these essays to be about 500 words. Let’s run our little word counter tool and see where we are at now. I have reached 185 words. That’s depressing because I have a long way to go. I am starting to get a headache. I am also running out of things to say about having nothing to say. How many words is that?

Wow. I just cut out my whole next paragraph which has really put me in a hole.

I think the problem here is that the last few days have been very boring. I have settled into a mind numbing routine of working on the computer, sending out resumes, taking my walks and generally not accomplishing much of anything. Sounds like retirement to me. I did do a Full Body Immersion when I was fishing the other day, but let’s not go there. Right now, I am waiting for the cable guys to finish getting our cable telephone installed. As usual This Old House we live in is fighting them to the finish. Working on this place is like trying to clip the nails of a pit bull. There Will Be Blood. At least they are cursing in Spanish so they’re not upsetting the neighbors.

Well, that’s all I have to say on that subject. I am sure you have your own grisly cable story.

Oh! Here’s something that is about to happen: I am getting a haircut at 4:00. Kathie is concerned because this will be my first venture to a local barber. I used to get my haircut in New York. She fears they will give me a mullet.

I hope you appreciate the risk I am taking here. I have exhausted a subject. What am I going to write about the next time I have nothing to write about? I am getting a writers block just thinking about it.