Monday, March 24, 2008

What to Expect

I am 63 years old and either between gigs or retired, depending on how you look at it.
What can you expect to find on these pages? Hopefully, there won’t be too much whining about being 63 and out of work, but rather humorous musings on life and the world from where I sit.

Getting older has been on my mind (not to mention my body) lately, so there will ruminations galore on this topic. In addition to being put out to pasture, I have also become a grandfather for the first time, both of which are reminders that life is moving along.

One of my hobbies is wood carving. I will show you some of my work once I figure out how to put pictures up on this damn thing. Anyway, I was completing one of my works, a mirror, with my eyeglasses off when I notice my reflection gazing back at me. My God, I am turning into a Shar Pei. The generous dew laps, sagging ears, and wet nose were all straight out of the AKC breed standard.

What really got my attention, and something I hadn’t noticed before because my glasses are usually on, was the apparent melting of my eyebrows. Like wax exposed to flame they are beginning to droop down over my eye sockets.

I rushed into the house to show my wife and to hear her usual comforting reassurances.
Instead, she looked, tilted her head, and said: "Oh, they are. I never noticed that before.”

Maybe one’s eyebrows don’t gradually sag, but reach a state of critical mass like snow on a mountain top and collapse suddenly in a twisted pile of flesh and hair blocking one’s view of the world. A frightening possibility especially if it happens while you are driving.

I have in the past 24 hours taken to tugging at them hoping to bend them back into their original jaunty position. I fear I struggle in vain and will soon be using tooth picks to hold the damn things up.

Anyway this is off to a bad start. I didn’t intend to devote my first blog ever to my eyebrows. But I guess it lets you know what you are in for.

1 comment:

Wryly said...

This is the best written commentary on the Internet. Keep the wry stuff coming. I feel like the last person on Earth who has just received an intelligent message from outer space.